Matamore Muses

Well. This is it.

And this, I must confess, is my first post and contribution to The Illusion blog.

It's been a very mixed, up-and-down, exciting, sad, strangely welcoming and weirdly fun journey from start to finish.

... In The Beginning ...

I remember the day Isma (that "Gleaming, Beaming, Peerless Wonder!") mentioned to me that The Oral Stage was looking for an actor to replace one who left.

Tunku the Musical (my previous production) had just ended and I was feeling not a bit exhausted after almost 20 weeks of seemingly endless rehearsals and shows. It was great! It was exhilarating! But it also took a toll on me and left me very drained...

So I told myself that I'd take a break indefinitely. No more rushing to rehearsals after work; no more staying up late til 2am before going to work at 7am; no more "lack of social life". Just a quiet, relaxing and contemplative end to the year.

But, I, being a glutton for punishment, decided, "What the hey, let's just go and check out this Kelvin fellow and his Illu-whatchamacallit production."

Walked in, read the script and immediately identifed with the character.

... Matamore ...

Matamore (as I mentioned to Kelvin) reminded me of a character I once played way back in college in 1995 (yes, I'm *that* old).

Like Matamore, Don Adriano in William Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Lost is a braggart and a boast. A man so full of himself, if he were any fuller, you could just push him and he'd bump and roll on the ground like a balloon.

And like a balloon, all he needs is one little prick and he'd blow up, exposing him as a fraud and a sham, full of nothing but hot air.

The main and most significant difference, however, is that (voice drops to a whisper) Matamore is, well, to put it lightly, not entirely here nor there. ;p

I'll leave the rest for the audience to discover...

That he is (possibly) the most interesting character in the play and the most "fun" character to portray convinced me to accept the part. Added to this the fact I've not acted in a full length play since 2004. I was dying to act again! And what better part than Matamore!

... Revelations ...

"Father, " cries Isabelle, "Hear me!"

And so I cry too. "Hear me! Forgive me, too, for I have sinned..."

I was very close to dropping out of the production at one point.

The whole routine of rushing from work to Dram for rehearsals, sleeping late and waking early for work, and not having any time to do anything else was, again, wreaking havoc on my health (or lack thereof) and the normally well-ordered confines of my oh-so-predictable life...

I was also a wee bit dis-Illusion-ed (pardon the pun) about the production. My initial impression was that of a school play by students for students... Unconvincing, slow, dreary and what talent there was, I could fit into the little finger on one of my hands (that's what playing Matamore does to anyone, by the way!).

Two people (one, a very good friend; the other, my "little Star of the Dawn") convinced me to stay on, so I decided to stick with it and make the best of everything. "After all," she said, "You might actually find yourself having fun."

... Evolution ...

That I did. A epic kaleidoscopic rollercoaster full of fun!

And what was an ugly duckling blossomed into something of much beauty and great promise. The players, so shy and reserved, so hesitant and unconvincing, began warming up to their characters and slowly, yes, but surely, *became* their characters.

I began to feel the their emotions, empathise with them, sympathise with their conflicts and learned to love the play for its own unique quality. I felt Isabelle's anguish, Lyse's pain, Clindor's happiness and Adraste's anger. Too, I felt the Father's regret and the Bomoh's arrogance. I experienced the helplessness of the Amanuensis and the hideousness of the creatures.

Confidence replaced hesitation. Certainty replaced anxiety. There was energy and there was excitement. Above all else, there was fun and, I would like to believe, there was love.

Love for the play, love for our characters and love for what we are doing.

... The Unseen ...

And as for the production crew... When I walked onto the set last weekend, I was impressed. The stage looked like a Bomoh's cave with creeping vines and tombstones all over while the lighting was spot on - an eery green which gave me chills, then softened to warm shades of red and orange as the scenes changed... Kudos to Shar and Jason for a brilliant job.

Nicholas, too, surprised me with the programme book - I'm sure other productions would *kill* to have such a beautifully designed and laid out book! I especially love the photos he took of everyone (especially mine, of course!)...

Then there was Nurul - I've never had a Stage Manager go to the extent which she did - all the while during rehearsals she'd be vigorously scribbling notes (this is standard practice for SM's throughout the universe - it's what they *do*) but later, she'd actually send us the notes (*gasp!*) with little reminders of changes to the schedule and so on. And of course, in between being a scribe, she also acted as our resident photographer (when Nicholas was absent).

As for Herr Direktor... My thanks for giving me this opportunity to go wild with Matamore! I'd also like to say, that for any director, one's quality can only be measured by the quality of one's work. In which case, I feel that Kelvin should be doubly proud of what he's done with the play.

Last but never least, to my own adored, my Aphrodite, my Venus, my Muse, the wonder of my heart and the joy of my soul, my thanks and endless gratitude for bringing me into this play. Most of all, I thank you for being you.

... Showtime ...

To be modestly honest and honestly modest, I believe there is always room for further improvement.

But at this time, at this moment, I'd say we're very much ready for the world to see us and experience The Illusion.